Week 10 NFL Picks

Week 10 Picks Against the Spread (HOME teams in caps)

PATRIOTS (9-0) over Bye (1-25):
I could be wrong, but I think that Bye beat the Dolphins. Let’s quickly review last weeks Pats v. Colts game… Brady plays like shit for 3.5 quarters, the ref’s repeatedly make obviously bogus calls against the Pats and non-calls benefiting the Colts, and the Pats still win, in Indy, against the reigning Super Bowl Champs. 19-0 has gone from unlikely possibility to probability. Also, I’ve got a new T-shirt for the Patriots locker room which I think displays their attitude towards the rest of the NFL at this point. The front says “I’m a Patriot.” On the back it says “The ‘P’ stands for Go F--- Yourself!”

PANTHERS (-4) over Falcons:
The day I feel the need to bet money on a team who’s starting QB is Joey Harrington will be the day I ask the devil for snowboard lessons. And since the Falcons are out of it, why not try something new…like lining Warrick Dunn at QB and running the swinging gate offense (where the center, tight end and quarterback line up alone with the rest of the team split to one side of the field) on every play. At the very least this would make the game interesting for a half.

PACKERS (-6) over Vikings:
I know that AP is the second coming of Jim Brown… at least this year until he has a Sophomore Slump and then misses half the season in year 3 due to a freak injury… that being said, the Packers may have the best Cornerback combo in the NFL and can put 9 in the box every play to stymie AP, and kill whichever sorry excuse for a quarterback Minnesota decides to trot out there.

CHIEFS (-3) over Broncos:
I really have no basis on which to make this pick due to all the injuries to both these teams, so I went with Arrowhead in November being the deciding factor.

Bills (-2.5) over DOLPHINS:
See Patriots v. Bye comments… The Dolphins will force the Patriots to wait an extra week to lock up the AFC East, by losing…again.

SAINTS (-11.5) over Rams:
The Saints are back from being the Aints and look like a playoff contender in the Junior Varsity Conference. The Rams still look like a top 5 drafter come April, so I’ll go with the Transitive Property of the Pick the Champ Until He Loses Rule by picking the loser to continue to do so.

Browns (+9.5) over STEELERS:
Do bookies in Vegas use some foreign language where Edwards, Andersen, Winslow, and Lewis rhyme with Boller, McNair, and …uh…whatever the Ravens receivers names are…? I mean this line has to be a mistake.

TITANS (-4) over Jaguars:
This was easy. The Titans are one of the top 4 teams in the AFC and have Vince Young who just wins games. The Jags will trot out a QB with nearly a 2-1 INT to TD ratio, and a 49% completion rate named Quinn who didn’t play at Notre Dame.

REDSKINS (-2.5) over Eagles:
Philly is 2-5 against the Junior Varsity Conference and 0-3 in the NFC East. The Skins still have hope of a playoff birth and position by position are better than Philly at just about every one… including QB. Philly will make my preseason prediction of a Kevin Kolb start in week 14 become a reality by losing 3 of the next 4 to fall to 4-8. Of course they’ll probably lose 3 of their last 4 games no matter who starts at QB.

RAVENS (-4) over Bengals:
This was tough. The Immovable Object (i.e. the Ravens O) v. The Stop-less Farce (i.e. the Bengals D). I was going to take the team with less criminals… tie…or the team with better chemistry…hmm…oh well, home team it is.

Lions (+1) over CARDINALS:
I’m officially on the Jon Kitna Bandwagon. And even if I weren’t, did you see the Cardinals’ stats last week!? 10/30 with 2 picks from Warner? 15 yards rushing from Edge James!? Less than 17 minutes possessing the football!? That’s stats you hold Harvard to as your warm-up game with LSU in NCAA 08. And they are a 1 point underdog to a 6-2 team!? This is free money. Who is making these lines!?

Cowboys (-1.5) over GIANTS:
For all those of you jumping on the Giants bandwagon, I’d like to remind you that the Giants QB is ELI Manning. The Giants got creamed in Dallas, destroyed at home by Green Bay, and most recently failed to score in the second half of a 13-10 victory over the Miami-Dade Junior High School All County team! Cowboys win by at least a touchdown.

Bears (-3) over RAIDERS:
You have to score points to win. It sounds simple I know, but I just can’t see the Raiders doing it, regardless of how far the Bears’ D has fallen. I’ll take da Bears 13-3.

Colts (-3.5) over CHARGERS:
Norv Turner, Phil Rivers, and LT (who apparently turned 32 this off-season - not 28 as we were led to believe) just got destroyed by a team which has no quarterback. Now they’ll go up against one of the top two signal callers in the league who’s surrounded with weapons and a defense that’s pissed at letting one get away in the fourth quarter last week. Teams around the NFL have realized that Rivers can’t hurt them and as a result, LT has twice as many rushing days under 63 yards as he has 100 yard games. Colts win this one in a laugher.

49ers (+10) over SEAHAWKS:
The Seahawks aren’t that good, and the 49ers aren’t quite that bad…close, but not quite.

Straight up take Panthers, Packers, Chiefs, Bills, Saints, Steelers, Titans, Redskins, Ravens, Colts, Seahawks, Lions, and Cowboys, and Bears… oh my!