WTF? Over.

ESPN.com has their weekly ‘pick a winner’ NFL poll up and after the site tabulated for my votes on each game; it gave me some interesting numbers. Of 11,268 voters, 95.2% of voters think that the Colts will beat the Falcons. That means 541 people think the Falcons will beat the Colts. Also, 10.4% of those who voted think the Eagles (at the moment a 23.5 point underdog) will win in New England. That’s 1,172 people. Finally, 6.5% of people think that the winless Dolphins will beat the Steelers. That’s 732 people. My question is: WHO THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE!? Again, this isn’t a poll asking how you think these teams will do against the spread. This is straight up!

This isn’t a fan thing. I know people are going to be loyal to their team, but in these cases, there can only be one of two reasons for voting for the Falcons, Eagles, or Dolphins. One possibility is that these people are such blindly loyal fans that any time a question involving their team comes up, they automatically vote for their team, or as I call it the “Sticking your fingers in your ears and trilling your tongue” response. The other (and I think more likely) possibility is that THESE PEOPLE ARE F#*&ING STUPID AND SHOULD BE REMOVED FROM THE GENE POOL! I call this the “George Carlin Theory.” As Carlin points out, if we, in the USA were to simply remove the warning labels from everything, we would almost certainly skim the bottom 10% of the gene pool from the population.

I have to believe that only someone dumb enough to drink bleach out of curiosity could possibly think that a team with Joey Harrington at the helm, and who just lost by 24 at home to Tampa Bay, is going to beat the defending Super Bowl champs on a short week.

If you need to be reminded to take your child out of a stroller before folding it up, you might be clueless enough to think the Eagles will beat the undefeated Patriots in Foxboro. Folks, the spread on this game is rising faster than the temperature in a room full of teenage boys watching Jessica Alba dance around in a bikini and chaps at the end of Sin City. My buddy Adam tells me that some sports books in Vegas have taken the Pats totally off the board due to the amount of money they are losing. Those massive casinos aren’t there because the bookies lose, yet the Pats have covered 9 out of 10 times this season, and they are favored by three touchdowns and a field goal. By Sunday, it could go over four touchdowns. That’s never happened in an NFL game. EVER! The Patriots are treating each week like Nebraska treated Kansas in the 90’s.

I want to be a little more understanding of people picking the Dolphins over the Steelers. After all, the Steelers did lose to the lowly Jets last week. Still, this is the Dolphins. I mean they just lost to a Philly team led by AJ Feeley’s 116 yards passing, and … hold on I’ve got to double check this… 148 yards rushing by Brian Westbrook!? That’s his career high… by 24 yards! In fact in 83 career games, he’s gone over 100 yards rushing only 12 times. Apparently the threat of AJ Feeley chucking the ball around was enough to scare the Fins into dropping 7 or 8 into coverage every play. I mean how else could Westbrook gash them for nearly 150 yards? And there are 732 people who think that the Dolphins will be able to stop Roethlisberger, Parker, Ward and company? Not to mention that the Dolphins will have to find a way to put up points despite an offensive attack led by the three headed chimera of: some guy named Chatman out of Eastern Washington who is averaged 3.3 YPC against the Eagles, John Beck-who had to wait for a guy named Lemon to blunder his way through 4.9 games before getting a chance to complete 9 of 22 passes against the Eagles-and… well, NO-ONE. The Dolphins top receiver is still Chris Chambers, and he got traded October 16th. Number two on the receiving list? Ronnie Brown, who hasn’t played since week 7 against the Patriots. I’ve changed my mind, I can’t understand these people. Anyone who picks the Dolphins to win for the rest of the season should be considered a national security risk, or clinically insane, and locked up for the rest of their lives.